Birds of a feather flock together and then crap on your car.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably righ…
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Added by connie on December 30, 2009 at 11:03pm —
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After serious & cautious consideration . . . Your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2010.
It was a very hard decision to make so...try not to screw it up!
My Wishes for You in 2010
* May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts.
* May the pockets of your…
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Added by connie on December 28, 2009 at 7:49am —
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Christmas Cookie Rules
1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories
because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie
free.
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no
calories because the diet soda cancels out…
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Added by connie on December 16, 2009 at 5:48pm —
4 Comments
Puppy Christmas
On the first day of Christmas my puppy gave to me...
The Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the second day of Christmas my puppy gave to me...
Two leaking bubble lights
And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree.
On the third day of Christmas my puppy gave to me...
Three punctured orname…
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Added by connie on December 15, 2009 at 11:56am —
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WHEN YOU CAN ONLY AFFORD HALF A TAN
WHEN THE CAR HAS TO ACT AS THE SWIMMING POOL
…
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Added by connie on December 11, 2009 at 7:25am —
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JUST AROUND THE CORNER IS A TIME WE CELEBRATE WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!! WE REMEMBER THE DEATH AND LIFE OF ONE CALLED JESUS!!! WE GIVE GIFTS TO EACH OTHER, SOMETIMES WITHOUT REMEMBERING THE GREATEST 2 GIFTS OF ALL; THE GIFT OF SALVATION WE GET FROM JESUS, AND THE GIFT OF FREEDOM FROM THOSE WHO NOT BE ABLE TO CELEBRATE WITH THEIR OWN FAMILIES!!! THIS POEM TRULY DEPICTS THE SACRIFICE OF OUR YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN!!!!! PLEASE READ AND PASS ALONG SO MANY MORE CAN REMEMBER AND PAY HOMAGE TO OUR HEROES!…
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Added by connie on November 24, 2009 at 1:56pm —
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THIS WAS SENT TO ME AND I WANTED TO SHARE IT WITH YOU. FEEL FREE TO PASS IT ON.
*THE MARINES WANT THIS TO ROLL ALL OVER THE U.S. Let's send it
> around the world. Please don't delete this.**
> *
> *This is a poem being sent from a Marine to his Dad.** **For those
> who take the time to read it,** **you'll see a letter from him to
> his dad at the bottom.** **It makes you truly
> thankful** **for not only the Marines,** **but
>
> ALL of our troops.**
> **THE MARINE**
&…
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Added by connie on November 11, 2009 at 7:47am —
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When Two Souls Find Each Other
From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven, and when two souls that are designed to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together and a single, brighter light goes forth from their united being.
- Author Unk…
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Added by connie on October 2, 2009 at 9:00am —
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The Miracle Toddler Diet
People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat of their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet.
Over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this…
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Added by connie on September 25, 2009 at 9:23am —
4 Comments
News: Obsessions! Naming Kids Is Symbolic of Who You Are.
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young
mothers and their small children. 'You all have obsessions, he
observed..'
To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating..
You've even named your daughter Candy.'
He turned to the second Mom, Ann, 'Your obsession is with money.
Again,
it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'
He turned to the third Mom, Joyce, 'Your obsession is alcohol…
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Added by connie on September 14, 2009 at 6:59am —
2 Comments
A farmer who's been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim. "I understand you're claiming damages for the injuries you're supposed to have suffered?" Stated the counsel for the insurance company. "Yes, that's right," replied the farmer, nodding his head. "You claim you were injured in the accident, yet I have a signed police statement that says that when the attending police officer asked you how you were feeling, you repli…
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Added by connie on September 7, 2009 at 11:23pm —
2 Comments
